If I'm completely honest, I'm over here kicking myself. Remember those days when I complained about waking up throughout the night to give four snugly little babies diaper changes, hug them, and snuggle them while I gave them bottles and then they basically napped all day? Remember that? Yeah, well I was crazy. I take back every single complaint that ever fell of my lips. And also, I'm sorry.
I had no idea. None. I swear. Please be gentle. Remember, I'm a first time mom after all. You know what they say about terrible twos? And threes? It's legit. By all means is it ever legit. This age is by far the toughest I've encountered yet. I'd be totally lying if I told you I wasn't fearful that this age may break us. And then, I think about all those teenage years to come and just cringe. We shall persevere.
This age, though, it's tough. While we are starting to reap the benefits of what we've worked so hard for over the last 2 years and 8 months, there's so much growing and changing, mixed in with four little growing egos, mischievousness, testing, and clashing of wills, it certainly makes for a stressful day. They learned how to crawl out of their beds; which meant we had to convert cribs into toddler beds which means they can now get in and out of their beds at will. I had hoped to keep them in cribs until adulthood. Clearly, as evidenced by the number of blinds we've replaced in their bedrooms, along with the messy dresser drawers, I have officially lost that war. You know the running joke about how moms can never use the restroom in peace (ie ALONE)? Well, I have that problem. Imagine having four toddlers constantly underfoot in all that you do. ALL. DAY. LONG. While we're learning so much and I try my best to see everything task as a learning opportunity, sometimes, it's really challenging not to want to just hurry up and be done so I can move on to the next things that has to be done. Unfortunately, that's easier said than done, which is why I rarely get much scratched off my to do list.
It's also no secret either that having quadruplets definitely puts a strain on the old pocketbook. Add that combined with the fact that while we're trying and we're so, so close, child care costs are still out of the question in regard to our budget. This means, as much as I'd like to work outside the home to get a break and some me time, it's just something that's out of reach for us right now.
And while I'm being honest, I'll also confess that little by little, as the stress and strain of living life magnified, seem to consume our lives, Adam and I are each seeking coping mechanisms on our own to deal with the pressure we face versus focusing on our marriage and the overall success of our family. We know that we need to seek help immediately and it's definitely something we are working on carving out time for.
All that said, there are some exciting (and a little scary) changes that our family is going through right now. I can't wait to share with you one of the biggest, most exciting things, but I'll save that for another post! But, as a parting gift, I'll leave you with this precious photo that I've waited over 3 years to get: