Tuesday, July 22, 2014

A year ago today...

Let's travel back in time to one year ago today, July 22, 2013 - things were SO much different!

As I'm typing this, four little babies are sitting in the living room mostly jabbering but one is fussing because he thinks he should always be held. I can't help but think about where I was one year ago today.

Today is the one year anniversary of when this whole journey began. Adam and I went in early on the morning of July 22, 2013 to begin the procedure that we would soon find out would change our lives forever (times four). 

I can remember the day like it was yesterday. The best way to describe my feelings were: fear. But my fear that day was nothing like the fear I face now. After ten years of struggling with PCOS, I didn't know if I'd ever fulfill my dream of being a Mom. We prayed so much that day that God would hear my plea and that He'd give us A baby. He sure answered that prayer in a BIG way!  

I have learned in the past year never to underestimate just what God can do for us as humans. It may not always be in the time we'd like to see it, exactly the way we wanted, and He may put us through test after test, or He may decide we need to go through a period of trials. But He's always there with us. 

Have you seen the movie The Internship? Remember the Google interview question about the blender? That's basically been my life since July 22 of last year. We endured infertility and the struggles that come along with treating infertility. We overcame and came out with not just one, but four babies. We were faced with mold during my extremely high-risk pregnancy in the home we were renting in Houston. We overcame. We relocated to be near family and were met with to our surprise, more challenges. We overcame. Said challenges meant that our plan to build/buy our own home by the time babies came home from NICU were derailed. We overcame. I went through a very tough, physically and mentally draining pregnancy. And I overcame. I went through preeclampsia in delivery. I overcame. The babies spent 52 days in NICU. They overcame. We were faced with tons of needs for diapers, formula, baby clothes, baby gadgets. The needs were overcome. We were faced with little help/childcare due to unexpected illness. We overcame. My Mom is battling a very severe illness as we speak. She's overcoming and WILL overcome. 

I could go on and on talking about the challenges we've faced in the last year and the flat out miracles and truly answered prayers that have gotten us through. Sure, there are times when it HARD to remain faithful and know that our needs will be met. It's still easy to be fearful of the day to day struggles we face. Sure, there's times where I want to throw in the towel. Yes, there are times when it's just me and all four babies are crying and each has needs to be tended to. There hasn't been a time yet that we haven't survived. One baby at a time, one second at a time, with God's help, I'm able to meet their needs. It reminds me so much of how He cares for us - each of us, with our own sets of needs, wants, struggles, etc. - yet He is able to ALWAYS sustain us and care for us in the way only He can love us. 

When people see me in public, I'm always met with dramatic reactions, statements and questions. A common one I get is, "you must have a lot of help". Usually, my standard answer is "we have a little bit of help, but for the most part, it's just us and God". Often times, the response to that comes as "Oh wow", or an "I'm sorry" or sometimes people will even go as far to ask about my Mom being close by to help.  I'm always happy to share my story with them and let them know that there's no reason to be sorry. By living through what to some may appear to be a nightmare, I continually prove to myself just exactly what I'm capable of with God by my side.

While we were in the NICU, our Pastor and his wife came to visit with us and pray over us and the babies. I shared with him just a few of the miracles that had happened to us during the pregnancy, the delivery, on into our extended hospital stay. He mentioned to me to write down all of those miracles as they happened a keep a journal with them. That one day, perhaps I'd be able to share my story and my testimony with others. I can't wait for the babies to celebrate their first birthday because I'm going to have a novel to share by that point! 

Never in my life would I have ever dreamt that I'd be a "quad mom". Until the day I found out I had four babies growing inside of me, I had no idea there were amazing women all over the country raising quadruplets just like I am now. You may not see us much (that's because taking four babies out of the house is HARD), but we're here. We each have a unique story to tell of our journey, and how God brought us to this place in our lives. We face unique challenges that most people don't even think about but one day at a time, with God's help, we get through this as well as any other challenges that He deems as necessary for our eternal good! My only hope is that I can share our story with others the way God wants me to so that I can use it to glorify Him.

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