Today, May 12, is Adam’s birthday! I thought that given the fact that it’s his special day, I’d write a special post today in recognition of him and all he does for me and our family.
When Adam and I met, I’m pretty sure that he never expected to become my husband and much less, the father of quadruplets! (I know I didn’t expect it.) It’s amazing what God has done with just a couple years of our lives. When Adam and I first met, one of the first things he realized about me was the strong desire in my heart to become a mother. Of course, once we were serious, I shared with him my struggles with infertility and how I didn’t know if I’d ever get to be a mom. He promised me when we were just dating that one day, he’d find a way to make me a mother. So he bought me a puppy…JUST KIDDING! (But he did buy me a puppy!)
In January of 2013, I turned 33 and we began to pray hard for a baby. I began to endure test after test and Adam stuck by my side through it all even while going through his own battery of tests. When I started to have doubts, and would get depressed as I struggled with the grief that comes along with infertility, Adam stuck by my side. He went right along with me to appointment after appointment. I’ll never forget walking out of our first visit with the specialist feeling defeated and thinking that yet again, I’d never be a mom. Adam grabbed my hand and told me to just stick with it and try what the doctor recommended just one time. I did.
A few weeks after the first cycle of treatments, we found out we were expecting. Close friends who knew what we were doing joked with us that we would probably be pregnant with twins or triplets.
About a month later, in September, we went back to confirm the heartbeat. Adam was by side (actually standing behind me with his hand on my back) when the doctor broke the news to us that not only was I pregnant, but there were four separate heartbeats. He stood next to me and held my hand as we heard some of the first beats of each baby’s heart. When the doctors advised us to reduce, he was the first to say “not a chance”. He went to every single doctor’s appointment with me and stood by me through what was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life, a quadruplet pregnancy. Adam reminded me constantly that we were in this together and we were going through the pregnancy on faith; faith in God. He took care of me throughout the pregnancy, driving me to work and doctor’s appointments, cleaning up after me, cooking for me, moving us (both packing and unpacking), and even as far as shaving my legs for me when I couldn't bend over anymore.
On the day that Evelyn’s water broke, Adam was working. I had told him earlier that morning that I had some weird pain in my back and he wanted to come home at that point but I told him it was probably nothing and to give me until lunch to see if it went away. When lunch came, I stood up, and her water broke, the first call I made was to tell Adam. His immediate reaction was to jump in his car and rush to get me. As you know if you’ve read, we probably wouldn’t have made it that way, so my mom drove me until we could meet the EMS off of 290 who took me the rest of the way to Texas Children’s. Adam was waiting just outside of Houston and when the ambulance went by, he was right behind us and was in the room almost at the same time they wheeled me in.
On the day they were born, Adam was on the hospital couch asleep in the room when I told him he needed to call the nurse for me. We were both panicked and surprised when they told us they were wheeling me down to labor and delivery but Adam stuck by me the whole time. He even stood outside the OR while I was getting my epidural and snuck a few pictures through the window.
And now, with four babies at home, our life is total chaos. Our sleep schedules are completely off and rarely do either of us get a full night’s sleep. It’s almost unheard of for us to have a few minutes alone to ourselves and a date night is nearly impossible with the stage we are in now. The best way to put it is that our babies pretty much monopolize both of our lives. For a lot of men, this is completely overwhelming and foreign to have to give up so much of yourself for such a tiny, poopy, crying human being. I’ll be honest, there are times when I’m pretty sure both of us have been at our ready to throw in the towel. But through all of it, Adam has stuck by my side. He’s been there for 3 AM feedings right along with me. He knows how to swaddle our kids better than probably anyone (including me). He sits and talks to the babies and on a couple of occasions, I’ve walked in on him tickling a baby on the changing table. He knows how to wash and fold baby clothes by the masses, wash and make bottles in an assembly line, bathe four babies at once, and he’s perfecting his culinary skills by making meals for us, all while he handles the “manly jobs” like mowing the yard, working on the cars, fixing whatever breaks and what may have you.
I know it’s definitely not easy being a quad dad! It’s hard for me and by nature, women are built to be able to have patience and softness with their children. Everything you go through with one baby is hard on a couple but we’re doing it times four. Adam has done a beautiful job of seeing where he’s needed and being there for us. The next few months and into the next year is sure to bring on tons more changes for our family but I am happy to know that I’ll go through all of this with him right beside me.
So today, on your birthday, I want to say thank you Adam! Thank you for loving me, for realizing that while neither of us is perfect, we love one another as God wants us to and that’s enough. Thank you for helping me to realize my dreams, for sticking by my side even in the unexpected, and for your willingness to work hard for all of the goals we set out for our marriage and our family. Most of all, thank you for helping me to create a home where we do second chances, we do real, we do mistakes, we do I’m sorry, we do loud, we do family, and most of all, we do LOVE! I love you, Adam! Happy birthday!